By holding back from emotional multitasking, you allow yourself to stay mindful of the situation which helps you feel calm and able to respond in a more thoughtful manner rather than having a “knee-jerk” reaction, which usually increases conflict. Harriet Lerner, would say: Defensiveness is the arch-enemy of listening. Another key part of active listening is that you refrain from spending your time while someone else is talking simply thinking of what you’re going to say next. Why is defensiveness so damaging to our relationships As one of my personal mental health heroes, Dr. It pushes people away, makes us look immature, and sends a message that we’re unable to regulate our. We are too busy looking for places we can attack, flaws in the communication. This can help you shift from a defensive reaction and instead allow you to truly hear the other person’s concerns. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. When this happens, we are no longer actually listening to the other person. Active listening means that you are actively open to hearing the other person and have intentionally put yourself into a receptive mindset. Practicing strategies to reduce your own defensive responses can help you be more open to conflict resolution and effective in solving problems.Īctive listening is more than just sitting in silence while someone else talks. Our statements can make the other person defensive if we begin a conversation by finding faults. Begin the conversation in a friendly way. The angry person can become angrier when faced with defensiveness, which can cause the defensive person to feel even more need to defend themselves from the angry person. Defensive listening is likely a defense mechanism Respect the other person's opinion saying 'you're wrong' is cause for defensive behaviors or listening. Study with Quizlet and memorize flashcards containing terms like Pseudo Listening, Monopolizing, Selective Listening, Defensive Listening, Ambushing and. That initial surge of anger and defensiveness will rise up, but you need to work. You need to pause, take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment to clear your thoughts. The best time to start controlling your defensiveness is right when it’s triggered. This is especially important if you have noticed a pattern of anger and defensiveness, which can create a negative feedback loop of emotional disturbance for both people. a) Where have you experienced defensive listening lately - at home, work, or school Is it more difficult to listen to certain topics than others Expert Answer. Take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts. However, in order to preserve the long term health of your relationship with another person, it can be helpful to practice coping mechanisms for managing conflict in a healthy, effective way. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. Someone else’s anger can often trigger a self-defense response in even the most calm and collected person. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. You may not even realize that you are being defensive. When you are experiencing conflict with another person such as a coworker, a friend, a family member, or a romantic partner, it can be natural to react in a defensive manner.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |